i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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