i can't believe i had my finger in that
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
