the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
