Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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