paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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