I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
well you can't waste a boner
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
