I wish I could teleport
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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