I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
