I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it's great music for shaving your balls
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm too high and old for this...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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