the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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