Dual....:-)
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just gargled with NyQuil
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
