I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
