I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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