I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
