I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
