The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
