My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
