it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
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i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
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I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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