Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
