My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize