I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
should my penis look like a turkey
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
