Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
