But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
