I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
