I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
