And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize