I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize