I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
