i can't believe i had my finger in that
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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