Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
