Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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