And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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