So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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