so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
