I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I will be naked everywhere
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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