Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
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