I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
