getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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