No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
