she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
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It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
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Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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