Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
