Pregnant stripper...not hot.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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