She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
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I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
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Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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