Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
