people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
