I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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