I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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