hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
