i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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