just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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