Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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