jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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