Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
