I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
