i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
