she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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