i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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