omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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