She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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