no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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