I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
