Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
